Attraction To A Married Man: What To Do?

A marriage crisis can have serious emotional and family consequences. In this article we show the possible consequences and give some indications about them.

It is certainly not a desirable situation, yet it can happen that you feel attraction to a married man. In the following lines we will analyze the factors that can come into play in these cases and how to get out of them.

The heart is not easy to control and at times it can happen that the feelings cloud the reason. We may get overwhelmed by emotions to the point of launching into relationships that we should avoid. This is what happens, for example, when one feels attraction to a married man. What steps should we take before entering such a dangerous vortex?

Many women will have felt attracted to someone who is already in another romantic relationship. The problem, however, arises when our will, our self-esteem and our freedom are violated.

Why is there attraction to a married man?

The factors that can lead a woman to feel attracted to someone who is already engaged can be many. Here are some situations in which it is easy to cultivate romantic feelings towards someone else:

• Low self-esteem. The woman feels demoralized or unmotivated. He begins to see in that person someone capable of filling his emptiness.

• He sees him as the ideal person. One feels attracted to personality and status. He is probably a successful person, older, has a good education and social position.

• Compassion. These men often utter phrases like: “I feel misunderstood”, “My marriage is a failure” or “If only I had known you before …” These phrases move some women, who wish to become the “poor man’s” lifeline.

• Expectations. When you don’t have clear ideas about your life or your future, you let yourself be influenced or deceived by another person’s plans. Some married men just take time by telling them to wait for the right time to fix things.

• Solitude. A woman who feels lonely just wants some company. On the other hand, however, the married man has grown children, a certain economic stability, bad sentimental experiences behind him and no desire to commit seriously.

• Personality. Sometimes the desire for the forbidden may simply come into play. That thrill, that adrenaline rush that produces clandestine love. You can see it as a game of fighting for a trophy.

Attraction to a married man: consequences

If we like a married man and accept his experience, we should also be realistic and think about all the possible consequences. In most cases they are not positive :

• We should accept that we often remain in the background. We will remain in the shadows in his social life and on special occasions we will not count for anything, remaining in complete anonymity.

• We risk wasting precious time between getting to know him, falling in love, listening to his promises and eventually trying to forget him.

• Hardly a friend or family member will approve of our decision. Who knows how many tears we will shed due to feelings such as despondency, sadness, loneliness and isolation from loved ones.

• Such a relationship can hardly remain secret. Let’s think about the consequences that will occur when family and friends discover this clandestine relationship. Trust in us and our reputation may be affected.

• In the rare case that the man we fell in love with leaves his wife, we will be labeled as a “family wrecker”. And if in the future he should betray us with another, we could not blame too much with the new flame, after all, the previous time we were in his place.

What to do?

When in addition to attraction to a married man, love takes over, there is not much we can do to go back. We don’t want to lose it and we start a vicious circle from which it is difficult to get out.

We can feel overwhelmed by a whirlwind of not always positive emotions such as: frustrated love, anger, feelings of guilt, emptiness, loneliness and isolation. How to remedy it?

• With a clear mind and not clouded by feelings, we should think about how we will be in the space of some time if we stay with him. Is it really what we wanted for us?

• We stop any form of communication and avoid situations in which we might encounter him. It is better to cry and suffer a little now than to be devastated.

• Let’s analyze our personal goals and focus on new life projects.

• We broaden our circle of friends, we will find that there are many interesting people.

Love is a feeling that makes a human being happy, but attraction to a married man hardly leads to being happy. It would be a three-way relationship. Are we willing to share our love with another person? Let’s think about it very well.