Why Children Should Not Be Forced To Kiss
For small children, a kiss is a show of affection. They usually kiss their parents, siblings, or grandparents as if it were an act of showing affection. Therefore, when faced with a stranger, such an action could make them feel uncomfortable and therefore it is not strange that they refuse to do so. Children should not be forced to give kisses.
Before forcing children to kiss , we should make sure they feel comfortable greeting in this way. The child should have the opportunity to choose how to greet people. He may want to do it with a kiss or with his hand.
Knowing and setting limits is one of the foundations of children’s growth. This too has to do with emotional limits. Any child can choose whether or not they want to be close to a person.
Some parents believe their children are rude for not wanting to kiss. There are actually several ways in which children can demonstrate their good manners.
Shaking hands, waving goodbye as soon as you arrive, or a pat on the back can be signs of good manners.
Reasons why children should not be forced to give kisses
It is important for parents to keep an open conversation with their children about affection and education. Displays of affection should be understood as a spontaneous way of expressing love.
The good manners and education, however, show respect for the other person.
Although children should be kind to others, they should not be forced to give kisses. In this way they will be able to set their own limits in front of strangers.
It is important not to force children to kiss, as this can make them vulnerable. Little ones can take a very complacent attitude in showing education and affection. This can expose them to harassment or abuse.
Abuse usually occurs by people close to the child and can be the result of a willingness to show affection.
The little ones end up feeling obliged to please and cannot say no to physical contact.
Respect your child’s wishes
After a certain age, some children stop kissing or kiss less frequently than before. Maybe out of shyness , because they don’t like people, or simply because they’re not in the mood.
If the little one does not want to show affection, should we insist? Absolutely not. Children should not be forced to give kisses.
Put yourself in her shoes and try to imagine how embarrassing it would be to kiss someone you don’t want to have this kind of contact with. How would you feel?
Kisses don’t have to be a sign of good manners
Although for many adults, kissing is a sign of good manners and a way to greet each other, for younger children, a kiss is a way to show affection and, in turn, to be loved.
Good manners are rules of behavior that you must teach your child so that he can use them in everyday life.
Instead of forcing the children to kiss, teach them to say “good morning” and “good evening” whenever they arrive at a place.
Kisses have meaning
A kiss is a social norm. It is quite normal that when you say goodbye, you do it with a kiss.
For children, this is a show of affection, so it’s not fair for them to kiss forcefully.
Children should not be forced to do things against their will. Even less must they be made to feel guilty for refusing.
Don’t interpret their rejection as an offense, interpret it as a point of view.
Your child will not become a distant person
Sometimes children go through stages where they refuse to kiss even their parents or close family members. This does not mean that they will become closed people about their feelings.
They will give kisses when they really want to and feel like it. If you force a child to kiss, you will only be able to push him away from you.
It can become more vulnerable to abuse
While it may seem over the top, if you force a child to kiss when they don’t want to, they will be more likely to get close to strangers.
If they don’t learn to refuse physical contact with other people from an early age, little ones may develop the idea that being affectionate with strangers is synonymous with education.
By forcing a child to kiss it is possible to convey to him the idea that he is not master of his body. It is important not to convey this message, otherwise it may become more complacent and passive.
Conclusion
In order for a child to kiss goodbye, it is important to ask him directly if he wishes to do so.
We must not insist and it must be made clear that he must do it only if he wants to and that it is simply a way to say hello. “Do you want to greet your cousin with a kiss?” , if he answers no, better leave him alone.
Generally, as children grow up, they begin to differentiate loving kisses from courtesy ones.
The quickest way for them to learn this is for them to observe their parents greeting with kisses. So they will end up mimicking this behavior and adapting to these social norms.
Finally, parents need to have an open conversation with their children about the difference between being polite and being loving.
Affection must come naturally, it must not be a way to please others.
