How To Stop Yelling At Your Children
Can’t you help but yell at your kids? Sometimes, due to our responsibilities and duties, we end up losing control with the little ones in the house. However, children are not to blame for our frustration. Yelling at children can undermine their self-esteem or cause them to be always on the defensive.
This way, they learn to act the same way, so it’s a bad lesson for them: they won’t be able to listen. How can you stop yelling or yelling at your children?
Identify situations that cause you to lose control
The first thing you need to do to avoid yelling at your children is to acknowledge that you have a self-control problem. If you don’t accept it right away, you won’t solve anything.
Sometimes we don’t want to face the truth. However, the consequences of our actions affect our children, who are not to blame for the situations we are unable to handle.
The first step, therefore, is to analyze all the occasions when you have lost control and yelled at your children. In this way you will understand what the repeating pattern is. For example, yell at your children when you come home from work or after arguing with your partner.
By identifying situations that cause you to lose control, you can find ways to resolve them and avoid becoming short-tempered. It will be a life lesson for you too.
Don’t blame yourself: Sometimes it’s normal to lose your temper after a busy day at work or after a nervous argument. You still have time to solve these problems and to act better: try it!
Pay attention to expectations
Expectations always play tricks, especially when we expect others to act the way we want them to. The same is true with children. We assume that they know many things, but the reality is quite different.
For example, if your child drops a vase on the floor because he wants to see what’s going on and doesn’t know it’s wrong, you eventually yell at him because of something he didn’t know.
Children do not know all the rules of the world and often learn them by shouting and lecturing. Sometimes the effects can be devastating: children get repressed and become insecure and very afraid.
Think before you act. Stop and think before you get angry at all. You should bring calm, peace and security into your life. Your expectations prevent you from seeing reality, what really happens, and for this you are unfair to your children.
Think before you act: take a deep breath!
As we have already anticipated, we must put aside impulsiveness, in a situation that pushes us to explode instantly in an aggressive and unexpected way. It is best to stop for a few minutes and take a deep breath, calm down and look at the situation from another perspective.
When we are invaded by emotions, we do not reason and we do not think. We explode and act or say things out of control. If you take some time for yourself, you will discover many things that you were not aware of before.
For example, you will understand that you have too high expectations of your children, you will learn that your child did not know that he did not have to behave in a certain way or that he did not make you angry, but that it all depended on a previous situation.
Yelling at children is a bad way to teach them something. There are other means of solving a problematic situation. It only takes great willpower to change this attitude and avoid the negative impact of screams and unfounded reproaches on the little ones.
Children are not to blame for the problems we face day after day: let’s not forget that.
