Brothers And Sisters: Bonds That Come From The Heart
Sometimes, the relationship between brothers and sisters can be complicated, it can have its differences and its years of childhood jealousies and quarrels but, in the end, it always flourishes in adulthood, with the strength of a bond that comes from the bottom of the heart. .
According to a study conducted by the Institute of Personality and Social Research at the University of California, Berkeley, in the United States, the order in which siblings are born is almost always of great importance.
During childhood, each develops determined strategies to attract the attention of their parents, but once they reach maturity, siblings usually put aside past differences and take care of each other.
The bond between brothers and sisters is a special bond that we do not choose. It is the blood that unites us and it is the experiences of daily life that build a bond in which time, gender or age does not matter.
It is precisely our brothers who have forged many characteristics of our identity and it is they who support us in the most difficult moments.
Today we invite you to reflect on this issue.
Siblings and the importance of the order of birth
What always attracts our attention, are the numerous studies that exist in the field of psychology and which aim to explain the importance of siblings according to their birth order.
The older brother
According to evolutionary psychologist Frank J. Sulloway, of the University of California at Berkeley, in the United States, and as he explains in his book Born to Rebel , older siblings have specific characteristics with which many people identify themselves:
- Usually, they are more responsible and accept better the changes that take place within the family.
- It is the older siblings who usually confront their parents if they believe there is an injustice.
- It is also usually said that older siblings are the ones who perceive the weight of paternal values the most, while other siblings receive it less indulgently and with fewer rules.
- This means that, at times, the elder assumes and accepts these values, while at other times, as we said before, he rebels.
The middle brother
It is said in a somewhat ironic tone that the middle brother is “in no man’s land”. He tries to keep his position at a family level and that is why he usually wants to attract all the attention to himself. He is not a lover of hierarchy and reacts against what he considers an injustice.
- He wants to stand out in something, to be smarter than his older brothers or more ingenious than his younger ones.
- Studies confirm that he will always try to establish personal or emotional relationships where “attention is paid to him” and where there is also a clear equality, far from domination or superiority behaviors.
It is curious to know that, according to popular culture, a responsible firstborn is followed by a rebellious brother. Despite this, it must be said that this type of beliefs and studies do not have to define us.
There are, of course, many differences from one family to another.
The younger brother
According to the article Ties That Mark Forever by Jürg Frick, the younger brother can be characterized by two very unique extremes :
- He can become an independent child, with a strong character who tries to get out of the house as soon as possible, or a child more dependent on his parents and siblings.
We can say that the younger brothers carry the label of ” little one of the house ” forever .
Brothers and Sisters: An Ambivalent But Powerful Relationship
Now, let’s put the birth order aside for a moment. We all know that in childhood and adolescence, children look for their place in the family. Small jealousies arise, periods of confrontation and moments of great complicity that, in one way or another, mark us for the rest of our life.
- Siblings help us socialize. They represent the first social scenario where we begin to understand what it means to share, to manage emotions as intense as anger or envy and what it means to wear someone else’s shoes to develop empathy.
- There are those who have an ambivalent relationship with their brothers and sisters. There are many people who have a complex bond: our character may not go along with their ideas, their values or their passions.
Despite this, the bond is usually much more powerful than the differences.
It is that union of blood and those experiences lived in the past that ensure that we always meet again, that there are pleasant family reunions and in which the complicity of childhood is reborn, where the affection born during this phase continues to shine. of life and preserved in adulthood.
Our brothers and sisters are a link of union and balance that will always accompany us. We all have our peculiarities, our quirks and our responsibilities.
We share similar characteristics and even laugh at the same things and, even if we have taken different paths, there is always a single path that unites us: that of love.
