Addictive Relationships: How To End Them?
Addictive relationships are very common nowadays. Attachment and emotional dependence have become the breeding ground for a multitude of self-esteem issues, as well as domestic and gender-based violence.
In many cases, this toxicity continues more out of habit than out of love. The addicted person is unable to get out of the vicious circle, prey to fear and guilt.
If you are in a dependent relationship, your dignity may be compromised, so you will go to great lengths to try to keep your partner close to the point of exhaustion.
How to end addictive relationships?
According to the hypotheses of Doctor Castelló, relationships that create addiction fall into the category of emotional dependence, that is, from an extreme emotional need.
It is a subject romanticized by cinema and literature over the years, which have associated it with normality and even idealized it. For example, the Spanish poet Antonio Machado wrote in one of his poems:
There are no more precise words to define the feeling of dependence that is often felt in a couple relationship. Similarly, prominent psychologists have also addressed the subject, such as Pia Mellody in her book Facing Love Addiction .
A person dependent on a partner behaves in the following way:
- She is obsessed with her partner and everything revolves around him / her.
- Call or text your partner continuously.
- He wants to know all the movements of the other.
- She is afraid of being abandoned. Even if the relationship is toxic, she cannot imagine her life without her partner and therefore all possible “breakups” are followed by reconciliation.
- She cannot imagine the end of the relationship unless her partner takes the initiative.
- More than love, he feels the need to be close to the other person or to have them in his own life.
- Idealize your partner.
- He can develop symptoms of anxiety.
- He tends to choose a narcissistic or self-confident partner.
Steps to ending addictive relationships
- Become aware of the situation. You have to work on yourself, reflect and observe what is happening. Is the dependent relationship due to a self-esteem problem? What kind of vacuum do you feel? You can try it on your own or with psychological support.
- Focus on your goals. Many addicted people tend to forget about the important issues in their life. Pick up any goals you left unfinished or focus on something you’ve always wanted to do.
- Put yourself first. Emotional health is key because happiness always resides inside and not outside, as many mistakenly think.
- Quit the games. If the partner apologizes or says he will change, ignore these promises and ask for help if needed.
- Break the routine. This will help you heal. Find new activities to do and seek support from friends and family.
- Get rid of the memories. Throw away anything that reminds you of the ex, especially his gifts. Avoid listening to songs that remind you of your ex and listen to something more cheerful. Getting rid of objects will help close cycles and relationships.
- Meditating will comfort you spiritually. If you prefer, take a walk every day or stop and observe the small details in nature.
- Forget the idea of being able to make your partner change. Nobody changes unless they really want to and make an effort to do so. Don’t wait or put off suffering any longer.
Don’t give up and seek help if you need it
Follow these tips and you will see how things get better little by little. However, if you think that no matter how much effort and effort you put in, you will still not be able to get out of the relationship, it may be time to seek psychological help.
Remember that everything will be fine. You just need to become aware of your worth and learn to love and respect yourself enough not to accept toxicity in your life anymore.
