A Begged Love Is Not Love
A begged love does not represent an authentic relationship, it is more a sign that the relationship has died out. Despite this, those who try to rekindle the embers of that feeling with the desperation of those who dream of a second chance, risk getting only suffering.
Another aspect to take into consideration is that whoever makes the mistake of asking to be loved gives the other person a very dangerous power.
That’s when we embark without realizing it into unbalanced relationships where manipulation, blackmail and even humiliation come into play.
A begged love can lead to the loss of oneself, and when it does, our self-esteem is seriously compromised. It is essential to take this into consideration.
A begged love is already a lost love
It is not easy to admit the end of a relationship; living in a lie, where the other person is a thousand light years away from you and where you become a satellite that rotates unnecessarily in the orbit of the other.
Although the emotional radar is already quite aware of the fact that there is no more love, denial is used as a defense mechanism to cling to hope. To an illusion with which to continue to live, to feed an unreal love from which, however, one cannot get away.
What actually lies behind these attitudes? Why are there people who ask to continue being loved when, in reality, the other person has already rejected them?
A begged love that feeds false hopes
From an early age they teach us the value of effort, the need to fight for what we want. Somehow, we end up associating this struggle with emotional relationships as well, but in reality the emotional plan doesn’t always work that way.
- It is not by forcing ourselves, humiliating ourselves or leaving everything to demonstrate our unsurpassed passion for the other person that we will make him or her reciprocate our love. The heart doesn’t work like that.
- False hope is the poison of those who refuse to see reality. Obviously, it is not easy to accept falling out of love, but when the other person makes it clear that he no longer feels anything for us, it is important to accept it.
Acting differently to be loved
This is an attitude taken by many people in an attempt to recover their loved one or to win a desired one.
Acting against one’s values, showing an image that does not coincide with ours just to make us want, abandoning our habits only to adopt others more similar to the person we want to win the affection of.
All of this is a way of slowly self-destructing which, in addition to humiliating us, can damage our mental and emotional health. We must not fall into this mistake.
The false illusion as a defense mechanism
One thing is clear: ending a relationship means having to rebuild our lives, and that’s something we’re not all ready for.
For this reason, at times, false illusion is used as a defense mechanism, as an emotional armor that helps us survive by thinking of a “who knows”, a “If I do this, maybe he’ll be interested in me again”, “If he feels sorry for me, maybe he still loves me ”.
They are understandable attitudes that we can put into practice for a few days, until, little by little, we accept the situation.
In the event that we continue to do so for several months, we will harm ourselves and the other person as well.
The path to acceptance when you fall out of love
When it comes to accepting falling out of love or ending a relationship, each of us reacts differently.
One aspect to take into consideration is that, to succeed, each person will need to follow their own path that will be of help (seeking support, changing cities, becoming passionate about new things, taking a trip, etc.).
Despite this, it is worth keeping in mind the following strategies that will allow us, first of all, to take care of our self-esteem.
- We all need a why. Relationships end for a reason and you need to know it, all this will help us turn the page more effectively without feeding false hopes, dreaming of a second chance.
- A face to face farewell. A refusal, a “we have reached the end of the line”, must be done absolutely face to face and never through messages or third parties.
- Sincere words, even if painful, are therapeutic. We must be firm and realistic: it’s over, there are no second chances.
- It is time to think of you. Those who beg for love when things are clear are betraying themselves. It is necessary to accept the situation and to experience grief in each of its phases. It is essential to think about yourself, to heal the wounds caused by emptiness, rejection, absence.
Pain is made up of various fragments of ourselves that we must collect with dignity in order to rebuild ourselves anew. This is a difficult process that will require effort and a lot of care, but time will ensure that it always hurts a little less.
Eventually, the day will come when we will feel proud that we have not, that we have not begged for love.
