The Opinions Of Others Must Not Influence Us
It was Eleanor Roosvelt who said that “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. Yet, whether we like it or not, the opinions of others never leave us indifferent, in one way or another.
One of the mistakes we often make is believing that our opinions or judgments represent absolute truths. If we add to this the fact that some people use these “truths” to classify or despise others, the situation becomes even more complicated.
It is obvious that each of us has the right to have our own opinion, but we should never allow a personal judgment to become a kind of sentence handed down against the other.
On the other hand, it is also true that, just as we must be prudent in judging others, we must also avoid that the judgments and opinions of others touch us too much.
What sheep think never takes away the wolf’s sleep, because those who are strong and aware of their virtues and abilities do not let themselves be influenced by the flock. We invite you to reflect on this topic with us.
There is always an opinion capable of hurting us more than others
The opinions that hurt us the most are those that are addressed to us by our loved ones and by the people we care about most.
Throughout our existence, we will have to deal with the judgments and opinions of the people around us and who form our most intimate social circle.
According to what psychologists indicate, the main source of suffering within the parent-child bond, and also within the couple, is represented by the opinions or judgments that, at a given moment, the loved one expresses towards us.
A belief, an opinion is what people cling to as an absolute truth. When an opinion takes shape and is “launched” towards our interlocutor, it often becomes a source of conflict.
Some examples could be: “You will never do anything good in life”, “Your insecurity will condemn you to failure”, “You will always remain obese because you will never be able to lose weight”.
These are the opinions that hurt our self-esteem the most. In reality, when we are addressed by a stranger or by a person with whom we do not have an emotional relationship, the judgment barely touches us, but the situation changes when it is pronounced by a person to whom we are connected.
How to prevent other people’s opinions from hurting our self-esteem
It has happened to all of us, at least once in our life, that we have to deal with some relative who, during the typical family lunch, lets out an unpleasant phrase about us. In order not to create tension, we usually choose not to argue and to hide anger and disappointment.
Every judgment or opinion we receive obliges us to reflect, even if for a few moments, and this is good. Despite everything, we had to consider the following points immediately afterwards.
Does this opinion define us or does it not represent us at all?
It is good not to react defensively immediately: the first thing to do is to know how to listen and then calmly analyze this opinion.
It is possible that a friend or family member is pointing out an aspect that reflects reality, but that we, at that moment, are not able to see. “ I think the love story you are having is making you miserable”, “I think you are not doing the right thing”, “I think you better change jobs”.
Let’s take our time to analyze these opinions: if, after reflecting on them, we realize that they are true, then it is time to accept them and be grateful for them.
On the contrary, if we notice that such opinions do not define us but, on the contrary, do not correspond to reality and are completely wrong, then we will have to act rationally to avoid a negative emotional reaction such as anger, anger or sadness.
If an opinion does not represent us, let it slip on us; arguing is not worth it, neither our time nor our health.
With foolish words, deaf ears
What makes us angry and fills us with anger imprisons us. If our loved ones too often utter phrases and opinions that hurt us, it won’t help us much to react in anger to defend ourselves.
When we are tempted to react in this way, we should think that those who use malicious criticism do not have the gift of empathy and, even less, that of respect.
For this reason, the best thing to do is to keep some distance to protect our self-esteem and integrity.
When a person is aware of himself, of what he is worth, of the goals achieved and of what he deserves, he is able to overlook the foolish and false opinions of others. Such a person refuses to play the part of the victim.
Wolves, for example, are territorial and proud animals, who have a clear understanding of their instincts, their true nature. They rarely allow themselves to be tamed and almost never forget their roots and strengths.
Nature is very wise and it is very useful to learn from it, especially when it can teach us to take care of our essence, our identity and our self-esteem. With foolish words, deaf ears.
